Sticky sweat and sunburned neck as I sit at the picnic table talking about everything and nothing to my daughter-in-law after the garage sale.  The granddogs are basking in their own spot of sun. A truck pulls in, one of my handsome sons gets out; brothers chat comes floating by. Any given night, the phone rings. An hour later, what was meant as a brief conversation has lasted as my daughter-in-law (who lives an hour away) and I found plenty to talk over. Texts, pictures shared, phone calls, the sound of a key turning in the door as one of our kids arrive. Pictures on the couch, laughter as memories past fill our holiday dinners. Rods are checked, motor is running before the boys and their Dad take off to fish. Bleached out hair from the sun, rosy cheeks from activity still fill my mind’s eye of little boys, now grown men with beautiful wives. I walk into Son #1’s house and 3 of my granddogs vie for my attention, as my son worries that they will knock me over in their joy to see me; every time our front door opens, the smallest granddog runs through the house to me, letting me know that she has arrived! This is my world – this is my life – this is my joy.


And yet, we are leaving them. All of them. Moving a full day’s journey away from them. Why? How? What is wrong with us? How can my heart take it? Who does this?

My parents left their families and all that they knew when I was just 4 months old. They headed to another country, not just another state! When you grow up that way, your immediate family is everything. Other missionaries fill the gaps for grandparents, aunts and uncles. That was my normal. When I married, my husband was studying to be a minister, so I knew that my life would involve moving. BUT! We had our children. Our little unit of family. Moving from Michigan to Florida for a time of our ministry life was no big deal, but we did it as a family of 5.


One by one, each of my siblings and I left our home and family in Brazil and returned to the USA. Separation. Loss. Unknown. One by one, we made our way into this new world, new culture, new friends, new family. One by one, each of my sons left our home. Grown, ready to move on. Separation. Loss. Unknown. My husband – his wife. Back to the way we began all of those years before. Together. Just you and me, Babe. One by one, all of our kids ended up near us again. Family. Togetherness. Love.

In a week, just two of us will get in the truck and leave them all behind. They are my world. And yet, are they?  Too many changes.  Too much new. Couldn’t do it alone. God had my back. My entire life has had one main focus. God gave me what I needed for every change, every move in my life.  When I was 4 months old, it was up to my parents to watch over the change in my life. At 17, it was a different story. God came with me to America. God helped me through the culture shock. At 30, God had given me the family I so wanted – a husband who loved and served Him and 3 beautiful sons. By 55, wonderful daughters had been added into the mix. God has been right in the middle of it. Faithful. True. Helpful. Friend. Confidant. Fortress. Sheltering Wing.


Yes. I am leaving the ones I cherish the most behind. I find pure joy in following the call of Christ! Where He leads, I will follow. Where He calls, I will go. Where He sends is where I will be. What He will ask, I will answer. You see, He never leaves me! He is always with me. He never leaves me comfortless. He loves my family more than I could ever imagine, more than I ever could and that is a HUGE task!!!!!!!!  He will watch over them. They will turn to Him. I will turn to Him. He is my family.

I am not leaving the country. I am just moving away from where I have lived. I am “homesick” for my new home! God has already gone before me, giving me a love for all that is ahead: new friends, new home, new church, new people to meet, new journeys to take, new joy to be found. YES! God wants me to leave my kids!!! He wants me to follow Him and in that, my joy is complete.

Where you go I’ll go. Where you stay I’ll stay. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God.

Where you go I’ll go. Where you stay I’ll stay. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God.


Hezekiah Walker – The Will of God

There are so many things about the will of God
The things we don’t understand because they seem so hard
We try to find the way that seems to be just right
But the way that we choose only leads us further from the light
But if we can learn to accept the things we cannot change
And never question God for we’ll never know His way

We must accept what God allows
And we must never try to tell Him how
To order our lives
He has a plan in mind
He’s the one who made you, created you, saved you
And He knows what’s best for you
His will is good
It is acceptable and it’s perfect

There are many things about
What God allows that we don’t understand
But if He allows all of these things to be
It’s a part of the Master plan
He knows what’s best
And He won’t put more on you than you can, you can bear
His will is good, it is acceptable and it’s perfect

Yes, yes, yes to Your will
His will is good, it is acceptable and it’s perfect

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4 Responses to YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE MY KIDS???

  1. Marcia says:

    Beautifully written…praying for you, Barb!

  2. I never have had a smooth time when changes are being made and it has followed me into adult hood. God has taught me to be more flexible and learn to believe in what he has set before me. I will miss knowing that your not just across town. I pray that all goes well. Couldn’t help but let a few tears roll down my cheeks reading what your wrote, however it was so inspirational; Thank you. My love goes with you.

  3. leaplady says:

    Great words dear one! Fear not, your kids will find you! Ours did. And as you know, when they come to visit they are yours 24/7! God bless you as you continue on The Devoted Way. Blessings ahead.

  4. Gerald Heyd says:

    Great words, Barb. The journey may be rough but God never makes a mistake and following Him is the greatest blessings of living.Just think, after this life is over we are finally HOME!!!!

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