A secret can be a wonderful thing! If it’s a good secret, (and this one is the best!) then you can hug it to yourself, pull it out when you want to enjoy it and have something that really makes you feel good.
Secrets can be hard to keep, and this one was no exception! At first, only our immediate family knew, then I told our extended family. They have all done great with helping keep it all quiet. There were some dear friends who were let in on it, too.
Why all the secrecy? Because I thought it might all fall through! Thought the disappointment would be more than I could handle. I wanted to make sure that it was a “done deal,” so to speak.
So here it is:
My 2nd deepest desire in life is coming true! WE ARE GOING BACK TO BRASIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I am going back, and Clive is going with me! It all began to happen in early March, when the nephew of one of my brasilian friends wrote me to see if Trevor would be willing to go to Brasil to be their youth speaker for camp. When I talked to Trevor about it, he immediately said, “You have to go, Mom, you have got to go, too!” It just seemed impossible. I was unemployed, I wouldn’t want to go back without Clive or my siblings, but it was a brilliant little light, starting to catch fire inside me. Clive and I started talking and dreaming about the, “what if’s.” I contacted my siblings and we all started to breathe in the dream of going back together. It still seemed too impossible. But, with God, the impossible is made possible!!!!! Money started to come in, specified for just that – the trip to Brasil. And to make it even more unbelievable, within 2 weeks, the money was all there, except spending money!! AND, my brother is going with us!!! People, we are GOING TO BRASIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some of you may not realize that I grew up in Manaus, Amazonas, Brasil. My missionary parents didn’t know it, but they were giving me the best life anyone could dream of. I didn’t just live there, I ate it up. I was one with the love of the country and the love of the people – it was in my blood; it was living to the fullest extent – a passionate life! When I came back to America for college, it was like cutting the very heart out of me. I have never been back and the need for closure is immense. I miss it all – the beauty of the creation that is like none other, the bright color that surrounded me, the tropical glory of God’s creation. I miss the people – I was born American, but in my blood pounds the ardor of a brasilian. I miss the food – ah, the flavors. They cannot be duplicated. If I close my eyes, I can see it all and nearly taste it! For years, I’ve locked it all away, only bringing out little bits of it once in awhile. It was easier that way.
About 2 years ago, I started finding some of my brasilian friends and the children of my friends on Facebook. What a joy that was!! I’ve reconnected with some very dear missionary kids that I grew up with in Manaus, too. Last year, I scanned all of my Dad’s slides, (at least, the ones that weren’t ruined by mildew!) and such joy has been shared through memories as we all have passed them back and forth to each other! Churches in Manaus have put them on the big screen, letting younger ones see the people in their congregations who helped get the work off the ground – what a wonder! This weekend is the 50th anniversary of the Wesleyan church in Manaus and they will be showing some of Dad’s slides during the celebration. Wish I could be there for that! Ah, well – in about 2 months, I’ll be there, and I will try to see all I can see, taste all I can taste, and hug everyone I can hug. I know there will be alot of joyful tears, and it won’t just be enough to be there – I will take it in through every pore of my being!!!
I am SO EXCITED! I am so SCARED. So much has changed. It has been 37 years since I left. My home is now a shopping center. I have no idea where my neighbors went. My friends have grown up, and I will be meeting their children and grandchildren. Many of the older ones have gone on to heaven. I am now the, “Dona,” the, “Senhora,” a term of respect for the older people. But you know what? It’s not going to matter. I will always have the memories, precious and dear memories, of those wonderful, childhood years. We had a lovely life, and I have a chance to revisit and to share it with one son and my husband and my brother! God is amazing!!!
And now, it’s not a secret anymore!!
20God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!
4 Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.