“I think people just make things so complicated in their marriage. They say they have to work so hard at it. To me, it’s so simple – I want to make him happy, and he wants to make me happy. Simple!” –Ina Garten, The Barefoot Contessa
Wow! That was amazing to hear! I get so disturbed by how many people are always thinking of themselves in their relationships, how they, “deserve,” this or that and, “If you love me, you’ll (fill in the blank.)” That has never been what I knew of to be true love. Love is self-sacrificing, making sure the other person is happy. If they are happy, you will be happy. They, in return, being so happy, will want to make you happy!
My 79 year old mother re-married last year. She and my dad had been married for 50 years. They were an amazing example for us in how they loved and served each other. Watching Mom remarry has been incredible. When you are 79 and 81 years old, you lived with other people, learned their foibles, learned how to give and take. Now they walk into a new marriage, each having done things a certain way in their previous marriages, and now adjusting to the new person in their life. Once again, my mother and her new husband are setting the example for us. My mother wants her new husband’s happiness so much, that she is willing to give in if it makes him happy. She is not being a doormat – she is giving love, and giving it freely! Her husband is so considerate of her every need and watches out for her and thinks of her needs first. This seems like it would be difficult for both of them, as they were both used to doing things in a certain way with their previous spouses before, yet it seems to be pure joy to them to make sure the other one’s happiness comes first!
Marriage Matters, Jackson, MI, is offering 2 free, “The Love Dare,” books for those who click on their site and “Like” it. “The Love Dare,” is a wonderful tool for your marriage that does just what the Barefoot Contessa says, to make each other happy. It might not be so simple for everyone – in fact, some people might really have to learn some new behavior patterns to put the other spouses happiness first, but isn’t that worth it?
It seems so simple!
I Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.